


No Contest

by Malu_3 (Grainne)



Series: Merlin Writers 2014 Holiday Fic-Tac-Toe [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 2014 Holiday Fic-Tac-Toe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arthur Pendragon Returns, Banter, Christmas, Costumes, Gifts, M/M, Naughty Santa, Queer Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 04:32:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2718869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grainne/pseuds/Malu_3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Where's the rest?" Arthur says, rummaging through the drifts of snowy-white tissue, then upending the box and dumping the lot on the floor.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Contest

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Merlin Writers](http://merlin-writers.livejournal.com/) community's 2014 Holiday Fic-Tac-Toe. My card may be found [here](http://malu-3.livejournal.com/11754.html). The prompt for this fic was an image of a Santa hat and red, fur-trimmed boxer shorts.
> 
>  **ETA:** Thanks to the generosity and delightful talents of [Merlocked18](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlocked18/works), there is now amazing, hot, hilarious, nice-because-it's-naughty art for this ficlet! [Ho! Ho! Ho!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2787959) *smooches Merls* Please go check it out and give her all the catcalls and applause!

"Where's the rest?" Arthur says, rummaging through the drifts of snowy-white tissue, then upending the box and dumping the lot on the floor. His gaze is steady, his eyebrow expectant. "Merlin?"

"There is no rest." Merlin resists tacking a "sire" onto the end, thinks it shouldn't be so hard, at his age, to keep a straight face. He's remembering last year, Arthur's first-ever Christmas, and the High Street holiday parade – the wonder on Arthur's face, the alarm on Santa's when Arthur had accosted him, demanding to know what manner of pelt his costume was made of, and where such a magnificent creature might be found. 

"That's the lot," he adds when Arthur just goes on staring at him. He nods towards the hat laid out on the table, the shorts puddled in Arthur's lap. "Well, and you add your own boots, of course."

"Of course," Arthur mutters, hooking two fingers into the boxer shorts and holding them aloft. They're a rich, deep scarlet with a black waistband and single button fly, much like the boxer briefs he wears – when he wears pants at all – save for the white faux fur trim at the hem.

"Preferably black. Preferably shiny."

"All my boots are shiny. Or they would be, if you'd deign to – "

"And some body glitter would not go amiss." 

"Merlin?" Arthur lowers the shorts, crumpling them in his fist. "Where, exactly, is this fancy dress party you're taking me to?"

"Prancer's!"

"Oh no."

"Oh _yes._ "

Arthur flings the shorts onto the table and points an accusatory finger up at Merlin. "Last time you took me there I got _barked_ at, and those two burly knaves nearly came to blows over whether I was an otter or – "

"Yes, well, that was bear week. I was trying to show you the complex and varied intersections of sexuality and gender expression in contemporary identity – "

"Merlin, for the umpteenth time, just because _technically_ you've been alive for longer doesn't mean you're my elder, nor my mentor."

"Oh no?" Merlin shunts the discarded tissue and box aside with his foot and draws near, straddling, then lowering himself onto Arthur's lap. He sucks a fingertip into his mouth, releases it with a suggestive flick of his tongue, and presses it to Arthur's lips. "I recall teaching you a thing or two about… ooh… mmm."

Arthur captures Merlin's finger and sucks it deep into his mouth. The sight of it is as obscene as it is dear, and the sensation – hot wet pressure, with just the barest scrape of teeth – makes Merlin shiver. He squeezes Arthur between his thighs, feels the glow of contentment at simply being near, at being able to actually _touch_ , spark into full-on arousal. 

Before he can do anything about it though, his finger is released with a squelchy _pop,_ and he's staring up close at Arthur's shit-eating grin.

"I recall being better at it than you were from the start."

Merlin blinks, frowns. "Well not all of us were born with a greedy king's gullet." He wipes his finger off on Arthur's shirt, feeling the vibrations of his near-silent laughter.

"So," Arthur says, taking firm hold of Merlin's hips, "I'm meant to be what… one of those novelty-costumed dancing boys?"

"Hmpf."

Arthur jiggles him a little. "The Yule stripper? Tropical elf?"

Merlin relents, letting his grin loose until it matches Arthur's. "They're having a Santa contest, to benefit the shelter."

"Well in that case…" Arthur pauses, brow furrowing. "Merlin, I'm happy to help, but if I'm to compete, I aim to win. Surely you could have found a better Santa costume than that?"

"Ah, but you see, it's a _Bad_ Santa contest."

"Why would anyone compete to be terrible at bringing gifts and Christmas cheer?"

"Bad as in naughty, Arthur, as in – " Merlin glances down, to where his cock's straining the placket of his trousers, then looks back up. He grinds his hips in a slow circle.

"Oh," Arthur says, eyes fixed on Merlin's crotch. "Yes, I see. But…" 

Merlin chucks him firmly under chin. "But what? You're making me nervous, frowning at my junk like that." This earns him another smile. 

"Tsk, such false modesty, Merlin – I think you'd have it gilded if you could. I was only thinking that there's nothing particularly naughty about me running around shirtless, even if it is in an elf hat and furry shorts. What? Why are you smirking like that?"

Merlin leans in, putting his lips to Arthur's ear. "Wait until you see my costume," he says, thinking of the red nose, the antlers, the leather collar and harness still waiting to be unwrapped. "Trust me, about ten minutes from now you'll be the naughtiest Santa around."

* * *

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Ho! Ho! Ho!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2787959) by [Merlocked18](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlocked18/pseuds/Merlocked18)




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